Virtual Identity

Though I have been on Orkut and Facebook for ages , it had never struck me until now , to look for my cousins there - who in my mind are still those little ones with whom I used to play with and they would look upto me like a big sister. But for the rare occasion of meeting them once in about six months, we had not tried to keep in constant touch. For some strange reason today, I had an impulse to search for them on Facebook ( P.S : Hubby says I belong to the new generation as I use Facebook while he to the old , as he is still faithful to Orkut ! ) and found them, and ask me what I found .... their virtual identities !
These boys, who are considered the introverts of the family have more than 200 friends each,
put up their whole lives in pictures, having multiple threads of conversations in scraps - to tell you the truth, I have never seen them more alive than this ! That hit me into realising one is not what he seems to be, its hard to judge anyone even if he or she is one's own family; there is a always atleast one hidden face, an unknown quality, an unexpected trait ... and what other place to express your true self if not the Internet. In a way, it also scares me to think I have to logon to the Net to REALLY KNOW someone who has grown right in front of my eyes. This line of thought led me to an imaginary situation , where sometime in the future when my son turns out to be a an obstinate teenager, would come barging into my room yelling
" Mom ! you don't have to tell the whole world that your son doesn't listen to you !!"
I would give him a perplexed look and say - " But I haven't talked to anyone, including your dad since our fight this morning "
and he would say with exasperation - " But you are locked up in this room blogging away ... and all those following your blog are calling me to ask why I said such things, this is no way to get back at me mom ! "
:))
That's today's technology , that's the way families are adapting to it, that's the reality though it may seem 'virtual'.

Between science and superstition

Can you imagine how superstitious we are ... think of your normal routine; and now think of all those times in that day when you have said/not said, done/not done something ONLY because it was not the 'right way', or it was not the 'right day', or the 'right time', or the 'right person' or the 'right place' ! And where exactly is this sense of 'right' coming from ... not from our judgement, not from logic but from years of belief ingrained in us. Its not easy to wipe off those lessons, to break off the mould and "THINK" afresh, but I still try to do so sometimes, at the cost of discomfort to myself and others.

For instance ... the other day I was giving my hair a good oil massage with plans of shampooing it the next day when my mother-in-law (MIL) noticed and asked " Why are you applying so much oil today ? Are you planning to take headbath tomorrow ?! " I shrugged and said "Ya! " , knowing fully well what would follow next - " but tomorrow is Saturday ! Girls are supposed to take headbath only on tuesdays and fridays, boys on wednesdays and saturdays".
I simply said I donot believe in these things and was she ever so disappointed in me.
she meekly continued saying " my mother always said money will not stay in the house that doesnot practice this - you just see, you may also have to quit your job! "
Now, this was a real blow - she had hit me where it hurt. Though I didnot believe her one bit, I didnot like the idea of losing my job just for a headbath. So I finally decided, what the hell ... I can still do this on a Sunday and left it at that.

Then there was another day when I had got into an autorichshaw to go to my office ... I was already late and wished he would hurry. We had just about started when a black cat crossed the road right in front of us ... and to my utter surprise, the driver stepped on the brakes and screeched the auto to a halt, then and there, right in the middle of the road !! I couldn't help but be amazed at his instant reaction - his face was like he had spilt a can of milk. For me, it was just a poor cat taking a walk, for him it was like a day gone down the drain. We halted there a couple of minutes when he muttered prayers to all his dear Gods before we set off again. I wanted to laugh at that man's superstition but checked myself in time ... I have my own too.

For example, I have one dress which is the 'Success dress' - because I happened to clear a job interview while wearing that dress. So for all important days, I wear that dress. If there is one for success, needless to say there is one for 'Failure' - it earned that name when I got a low rating in last year's appraisal. So am wary of when I wear that dress , its only for normal working days. So why don't I get rid of that dress you ask ? Because its not that old and its a nice blue one, I think I will risk it for some more time :)

One of my friends entertained us for a week with daily accounts of how hard her mom was trying to get a "good day and time" for her , to submit her resignation ! She tried to reason saying the time of the mail didnot matter, what mattered more was the time of acceptance, but her mom was not ready to listen. Am still trying to figure why a good time is needed to resign, there is no risk of losing her job as she is leaving it anyway. So what good would it do ? No logical answer.

So where is Science in all this ? beat , kicked and thrown out of the door. And remember, am not talking of any uneducated, naive person here, we are all at the minimum graduates and city-dwellers. Yet our thinking is " Oh so primitive " !

Charity begins at ...

home ! exactly , and that too at my fingertips, by tapping a few keys and clicking a few links on my laptop. So I donated $20 to World Vision today !

hmm ... well , not directly (me sheepishly smiling). But , by visiting this site http://www.hotelscombined.com/ and letting you guys know about it, I have indirectly marketed and also contributed for a good cause. Thats my good deed for the day folks.
So long !

A year rolls by ...into 2010

So ... looks like am doing my annual visit to the blogger. As usual, Dec 31st is the day when I really think about what I did 'this time last year' and thank goodness , I remembered I had blogged about it. So I went back to that post and read ... and what did I see ? this year end is not very different from the last - in the true practical sense ; blogged last year end and am blogging now.
But other changes - well there are many. My hubby was not with me then, he is now , my son is one year older now ( and so is everyone else, duh ! ) , am in the US, but going back to India soon. The first half year of 2009 was about just working hard at work and not being appreciated enough. Disappointed and disillusioned, I chose to be a housewife and took a long vacation , spent quality time with my son and hubby ... and now its time to get back to my other home and my job.
The dilemma of job versus home continues to haunt me, but I think I have realised what I want in this half year. Life seems to go in circles when difficulties need to be faced over and over again , but then life is such ... it cannot be a smooth, straight line. So it just makes me think if I have been given the same problem twice, its but an opportunity for me to figure out how well I can deal with it, how I can tackle it better now than before.
Am hoping 2010 will be that year where there will be fewer troubles and I will be able to solve those that persist in a more satisfactory way, satisfactory to me.